It's official, the higher ups of the department now know that I'm expecting a little one this winter. I turned in my patrol car and hung up my uniforms for the year. It's kind of bittersweet because I was hoping to get some pullovers in and some play time on the road this summer. I know, I know, I've been wanting a baby for almost two years so why would I be upset!?! Well, I'm afraid that the last time I put on a uniform was the day before I told the "world" I was pregnant, I'm afraid that there won't be another time I'll get in a uniform. I'm not sure what I'll do after I have the baby. I'm not ready to leave the department, but I'm not going to want to go back to the road with a newborn and a three year old either.
It sure is different driving The Beast to work each day and wearing khakis and shirts. Nobody knows that I'm a police officer when I'm not in uniform. I like being incognito. I know it's still super early, but I have faith that this little one will be just as healthy as Lawson was when I was pregnant with him.
I'm not sure yet what we'll do in regards to our home. Ultimately, we didn't want to have two children there but we may not have another option. The housing market is barely coming back up and I'm not sure even then that it'll get sold. I'd love to sell it and get into something bigger by the time the baby comes I just don't know if it's feasible. The extra bedroom right now is Lawson's toy room and the closet in there is our storage. I'd have to move a lot of Lawson's toys out to make room for a crib, a new chest of drawers, a new dresser. Ugh, so much to do. Again, it's all we've wanted for years but now it is here and we don't know what to do. Mom says we can just put a crib in the room and everything will be fine. But what about the closet space? The tons of clothes the baby will have? The storage of diapers and all other essentials we'll need?
I'll just continue to say a prayer each night and ask for guidance.
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